2:45 am

That's what time it is here.
I have tossed and turned for the last hour in bed and finally gave up and got up. Today is the last night of good sleep I may get for awhile and here I am- ha!

I can't think of what today will bring without tearing up. I'll be a mess at the agency. Ugh, and I'm so NOT a cuter crier... these will be great pictures!


Bates,
Sweet boy, tonight as you are asleep next to your foster mom, it rips my heart out to know that tonight is the last night you will sleep next to her. As I was going to sleep tonight, I kept thinking of you and knowing you were wrestling her to go to sleep and you had no idea that this was your last night there. I think if you did, you would close your sweet eyes, lay your head on her shoulder, and soak up every moment with her.
Both your foster mom and I know that that was never meant to be your forever home, but you never did. They say mothers always do what's best for their children, even when it's hard. Baby, you have had three mothers who have done what's best for you. The path God guided us all on hasn't been easy, but everyone has done what's best for you because we all love you so much.
I can't even think about what will happen later today with out crying. And sorry, bud, I'm not a cute crier, so I will have snot and tears and the pictures will be something we look back on and laugh about one day.
I know the days ahead of us are challenging, I know things won't be easy, but I know that with every breath you take you will learn to trust us a little more. You will know that your daddy and I love you so very much and are going to do everything we can to make this transition easy for you. You are truly a gift from the Lord and we will cherish you all the days of our lives.
Today will be a day we celebrate for the rest of your life, it's your gotcha day. The day we gotcha for good. Son, we promise to never ever ever let go of you (Mommas not so sure you will ever be allowed to move out and get married- I'm just saying!) Now that we gotcha, you aren't going anywhere! Today, we won't celebrate too much, we will cry and cry and cry- you me and your daddy too I bet!
You are loosing so much today. The only family you've known, the one you thought was yours for good. You are loosing a wonderful country. One we have come to love. We promise to tell you about Korea often, and teach you as much as you want to know about your heritage, and we will bring you back here to visit one day.

Oh sweet boy, my heart breaks for you and for the days that lie ahead. I will try to be strong for you, but I can't seem to keep it together now. We can do this- me, you, and your daddy...

Today is it! Welcome to our family, chosen one, welcome!