Meeting Bates

So we left the hotel over an hour early, and headed to Holt. We were loaded down with all our gifts and a bag FULL of donations (thank you everyone!)

We headed down the stairs to the subway and there was a tram already there, I turned to Nick and said "comon, hurry!" I jumped on the tram, just as the door shut on my backpack, and there Nick was on the other side of the glass door. So I figured I'd ride to the next stop and stay at the door of the car I got off of and I'd see him on the next tram and jump back on.

Here I am in the station waiting for Nick on the next tram.

We met back up, no problems and kept on going to Holt. Our directions said it would take about 20 minutes to get there, but it took us about 40 minutes.

We walked out of the subway, turned the corner and could see the building. Holt!! I said, there it is! Here we go!

As we walked up the steps I looked to the left and there in the waiting room was BATES! His foster mother was holding him. I waved to him and said "Nick, there he is, it's Bates!" I was glad to see him and know it was him. I was afraid I would not know him. He looked just like all his pictures!

A social worker, or maybe it was a nurse, grabbed him from his foster mom and met us at the door. She immediately handed him to me and the foster mom grabbed the gift bags from my hands. They quickly ushered us into an elevator. It was so surreal, it all happened so fast. It was a whirlwind of people, gift bags, elevators. Ahhh!

Nick, me (holding Bates), his foster mom, and his foster dad got on this TINY elevator. His foster mom and dad kept saying "Omma, Appa" (which means mom and dad in Korean) and pointing to us. We just followed the foster mom into a room and sat down. Bates was just looking at me like what the heck.

I think the foster mom went and got DJ, the Holt social worker because she walked in and said, oh, I didn't know you were here. I said, we just got here, he was handed to us, and we just followed her.

As soon as the foster mom walked back in the room, Bates started screaming! So he was in my arms about 5 minutes before the tears started.

DJ translated between the foster family and us. I didn't have to really ask any questions, the foster mom just started talking and telling us things.

Here are some things we learned about Bates:

• He is a very very very very very very VERY picky eater. This was the first thing the foster mom wanted to tell us. The only thing he likes is formula! He takes a bottle every two- three hours (round the clock!!!). He will eat a spoonful of rice, occasionally. He likes mandarian oranges, but will only eat like two or three (Can someone go get some mandarian orange fruit cups and have them at my house, please?) He didn't eat ANY of the snacks we sent. He doesn't like Gerber baby food. His foster mom tried to mix in rice cereal into his bottle to get more calories in him and he wouldn't drink it.
  Are we sure this is my son?!?! So much for trying to bribe him to like us with food. He ate like two-three of the puffs we brought! What are we going to do?!?
• He throws up- A LOT! If you try to feed him too much he throws up. If he doesn't want to eat, he throws up. If he coughs too much, he throws up. Yep, awesome. Again, are we sure this is my son?! I so DON'T do throw up. DJ said to make sure we take plenty of changes of clothes for the plane, for all of us! Oh no!
• He doesn't sleep! Like AT ALL! His foster mom will bathe him about 9:30 and lay down with him at 10. He MIGHT be asleep by midnight! He rolls, pinches her, pulls her hair, bites her, picks her nose, anything but goes to sleep. Again, are we sure this is my son?! I'm a sleeper. Well, I guess I used to be! He may or may not take 1-2 naps a day. No set time- just if he wants too. I asked how we could tell if he is tired. His foster mom said, if he starts just rolling over or starts biting you! What?!
  
• On that note, he is a biter. His foster mom said he bites a lot. Awesome.
• They said he is very very very busy. He's always into everything. He opens all the drawers and pulls everything out. He won't let the foster mom read the paper- he shreds it!
  

Bates' foster mom has fostered 22 children and she said he is her second most difficult!

At one point, the foster mom is talking to DJ and she and the two interns just laughed. I looked at DJ and said, "what, is it so bad you don't want to tell me". She said Yes! They just say he is very very bad!

I don't speak any Korean, but I could tell from the foster mom's tone and her hand motions that what she was saying was serious. He is a "naughty" and "difficult" boy!

The foster mom said she has been praying for us, especially for his teenage years!

Bates' foster dad said the house will be SO quiet when Bates leaves. They won't know what to do (they have one other foster child now too, guess she is a good baby!)

DJ said she is glad we are young and energetic, cause we will need it! Oh my!

• Bates loves music. If you put music on, he dances and pretends to sing in a microphone. His foster family is Christian and they take him to church on Sundays and he just claps and sings with the music! We will have to go back to the Lotte Mart and pick up some Korean music for the guy, I think we are gonna need it!
• Bates LOVES LOVES LOVES his foster mom. She has been his "mom" since he was released from the hospital. She has mothered him for 14 mths! They told us, he only likes her, he doesn't even really like anyone else in the family.
• Bates will sleep up to two hours in his carseat. Looks like there will be LOTS of driving in my future!
• He loves to be outside.
  

I told his foster mom that we have two dogs who will play with him. She laughed and said I am afraid he will hurt your dogs! Lookout, Addie!!!

His foster father told us he is a sweet boy and will melt our hearts. He already has, now we just have to get him to like us!

I asked the foster mom to sing Bates a song so we could record it. She rocked him and sang this super sweet lullaby. I thought she would sing a fun song and he would dance, but she just rocked him and sang to him. Ok, I LOST it! And I'm tearing up again just typing about it. After that, I was a mess. I cried the rest of the meeting. Not like sobbing, but just tears I couldn't stop. I was a wreck.

Every time we tried to hold Bates he cried. Every time. He would just squirm and try to get back to his foster mother. It broke my heart to think of what will happen on Friday. As soon as I handed him back, he was all smiles. He loved having his picture made. He would try to reach for the camera. He liked the cell phone and hammer we brought for him. His foster mom said he likes balls and cars. So looks like we will stock up for the plane!

He was not a fan of either me or Nick. I couldn't stop crying. Nick would look at me, and I would say "I can't help it. I can't stop" It was an emotional time. After the long wait, here we were. Our son. He wasn't a fan of us. It was heart wrenching. And on top of that, Friday will be gut wrenching. Oh, I can't even think about it.

DJ and the foster mom were really sweet to me, while I was boohooing like a baby! The foster mom said, today I cry, she cries on Friday. Nope, pretty sure I'll cry then too! I think they know what a rough transition he will have and really feel sorry for us!

We have a rough road ahead. I prepared myself for this, but hoped for the best. It looks like it will be rough. Really rough. His a tough baby, a difficult child, and we are taking him from his security, his home and the only family he has known.

We were asked to come to his pre-flight physical on Thursday (so no Everland). Hopefully it will go better than today did. (for both me and Bates) I plan on trying to keep it together!

After about an hour, they packed up and we all headed out. I cried the entire way down the steps and most of the way back to Somerset on the subway. I was a mess, and still am.

I told Nick I don't think it could have gone worse. He agreed, but he said, at least he is healthy. And I agree, we've got a 100% plus boy. He is naughty and difficult, and ALL OURS!

Here are the pictures from our meeting today. Please note the tears, from me and Bates.